christelpistol

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too bad DESSERTS won't fix STRESSED

Posted by christelpistol on February 18, 2009 at 10:11 AM

i am stressed out.  and i don't know why.  i can feel the tension.  i can hear the shortness in my voice.  i am not quite to the non-sleeping place.  but i'm getting there. 

 

here's what i think it COULD be:

 

  • my house is cluttered and messy
  • work is starting to become boring and monotonous
  • my clothes don't fit right
  • i'm in a rut
  • lack of patience with dumb things
  • my teeth STILL hurt
  • relationship jenga*
  • need to take ACTUAL time off instead of a day here and there where i catch up on OTHER stuff
  • may NOT be going to boston

and i'm sure there is a litany of other things too, that are small and insignificant, but added up make a good ole stressball. 

 

i am not sure how to fix it.  i just am aware of the indicators that SOMETHING needs to change.  the BIG indicator was yesterday when i was apparently speaking a different language to EVERYONE in my world.  i had to repeat and rephrase and pick and choose my words with customers and friends.  it was frustrating, to say the least, but also was a giant neon sign that when i am getting snippy with customers its time to take a step back.  we don't want a repeat of the last few months of when i lived in SC.  i was NOT a nice person. 

 

so i've recognized it.  now.  how do i fix it? 

 

i'm thinking a mini vacay and a margarita or eleventeen.  but i don't drink.  so.  how do i fix it?

 

 

 

 

 

*relationship jenga

the feeling that the foundation is fine and dandy until some major issue gets talked about instead of assuming that everything is ok and it takes a block out and shakes the tower.  the foundation is great, parts get wobbly when we BOTH dont use our words.  and i will take a HUGE chunk of responsibility for that since i am the one that's getting into Stress Monkey mode. 

 

Categories: chacha

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7 Comments

Reply Ms. T.
10:34 AM on February 18, 2009 
I think it's just February. We are all living it. February is the cruelest month.
Reply The Mommie
11:34 AM on February 18, 2009 
I can definitely relate to the foreign language thing. After many cases of this, I'm sure it is that we can't let our real feelings out so we try to sound "nice", but it backfires and we end up speaking jibberish or we become "invisible" to people which OF COURSE just makes the stress work.

How to fix - go say some nice words to things in nature, artwork, etc - things about which you really do have something nice to say. That way you won't feel like your "putting on" or "making compromises" . Just saying nice things will improve your attitude. And you will get back what you send out. Love from another alien speaker!!
Reply christelpistol
12:13 PM on February 18, 2009 
thanks to both of you. today is a little better. i had a man tell me i look like i'm 23.
Reply Angela
1:46 PM on February 18, 2009 
Or it might also be the psycho friend who is going through some....heavy....stuff... who keeps bothering you. You should tell that bitch to STFU! ;-)

please let me know if Ic an do anything...
Reply christelpistol
4:54 PM on February 18, 2009 
Ang, your'e stuff is easy. i've done it. it's just a matter of changing the names to protect the innocent.
Reply christelpistol
11:42 AM on February 19, 2009 
made words with the boy. (the boy who really needs to read this blog... i DO put a lot of good stuff on here) and we are MUCH better. i think i found the root of some of the stuff. i have been focused a LOT on me lately. the not smoking, not drinking, dental work to set up for braces, weight loss, and i have put myownself under the microscope. and in reality, i was NOT under the microscope to anyone else BUT me. gah. i'm so self-absorbed. jeez. but making words helps. and even though it was harshe when he said it, it's a really good new philosophy he's adopted. "fix it NOW so i don't have to deal with it later" as in "stop doing XYZ that makes people unhappy, frustrated, confused, and we wont have issues later." who knew it could be put so simply. KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid. wow. sometimes i amaze myself that i get SO into an issue that i cant see my way out. and i am still surprised that i really DID do away with some of the old habits, patterns, and behaviors and i find myself still expecting to react a certain way. and i dont. it feels good. here's to NEW.
Reply Joe Savage
1:02 PM on February 20, 2009 
Being a veteran of two marriages, and 212 failed relationships, the common denominator in failure being me, I profess to be an expert. Perhaps you're done with that relationship. It's not your fault, or his, it's just done. That's how my dysfunction runs. I'm good for 90 days, and I'm done. It's a commitment issue. That's the real core.
Perhaps you suffer from a similar illness.

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To Do list

  • stop smoking
  • lose 5 pounds
  • lose 10 pounds
  • lose 15 pounds
  • lose 20 pounds
  • learn to quilt
  • pay off Target card
  • pay off Capital One
  • pay off HSBC card
  • yard sale
  • Canned Food Drive Party
  • 40 squares for Knit To Give
  • new glasses
  • wisdom teeth yanked
  • braces (?)
  • apply for financial aid
  • get my last college credit
  • teach Ashton how to knit
  • teach Maggie how to knit
  • vacation with WIO
  • vacation with Angela
  • donate to CAFB
  • 30 days of sobriety in January
  • 30 days of Sobriety in February
  • Sober till St. Pats.
  • blanket for Project Linus
  • etsy shop